Don’t Feed The Trolls!

I know, I know, but I just had to. Once.

I got one of those emails from an “Internet Marketer”. You know what I’m talking about. How they can help you with SEO/Internet Marketing/Web Design, and they’re cheap too! Well, obviously they are cheap, they’re emailing from a Gmail address.

Here is the email, sent via a contact web form for one of my sites:


From: Deejay Colin [mailto:[deleted]@gmail.com]
Sent: August-10-11 8:38 PM
To: Angela Robson
Subject: SEO| Internet Marketing| Website Designing
From: Deejay Colin
Subject: SEO| Internet Marketing| Website Designing

Hi,

We can fairly quickly promote your website to the top of the search rankings with no long term contracts!

We can place your website on top of the Natural Listings on Google, Yahoo and MSN. Our Search Engine Optimization team delivers more top rankings then anyone else and we can prove it. We do not use “link farms” or “black hat” methods that Google and the other search engines frown upon and can use to de-list or ban your site. The techniques are proprietary, involving some valuable closely held trade secrets. Our prices are less then half of what other companies charge.

We would be happy to send you a proposal using the top search phrases for your area of expertise. Please contact me at your convenience so we can start saving you some money.

In order for us to respond to your request for information, please include your company’s website address (mandatory) and /or phone number.

Sincerely,
Deejay Colin
[deleted]@gmail.com
COMPLETE INTERNET MARKETING SOLUTION
SEO – Link Building – Copyright – Web Designing – PHP

They’re ALL like that. Sent via a contact form, with a Gmail email reply address. I found a very similar “comment” on a completely unrelated website…about mascara. And then I found a whole whackload (very technical term) on a bunch of others sites. [insertfirstname]internetmarketing@gmail.com. I mean really. Come ON.

Here is my reply:


Hi….uh, whatever your name is…

I did a quick Google Search for your name. The first result is http://technical-itch.co.uk/contact-me/, which says absolutely zero about Internet Marketing, SEO, or web design. In fact, at a first gland it looks like nothing but reviews for GPS units. So I do a search (on what I assume is your site) for “internet marketing”, and I’m presented with a weblog entry from April 3, 2007 about a well-known webmaster tool kit.

At this point, I’m already seriously beginning to doubt your professed ability to rank my website in the top “Natural Listings”. Honestly though, it’s the email address that gave it away in the first place. I mean, if you really are a serious web-centric company, wouldn’t you at least email from your own domain? Or maybe you don’t have one? Or even a website? Isn’t it a tad ludicrous that I can’t find it? Do you even have a company name? Unlikely.

Upon further investigation, you claim you don’t use “link farms” or “black hat” methods, which is entirely possible because that would take too much work and thinking, but you do obviously “contact form spam”. As I see an example of here: http://wearingmascara.com/index.php/contact-me/ Oh, and of course it’s how you contacted me too.

Yeah, that’s working out great for you, isn’t it?

So, whateveryourfirstnameis-internetmarketing@gmail.com, Go back to doing whatever it is you were doing before. If someone like me can detect your BS, you’re pretty much screwed.

Angela

That’s all I had the energy for. 🙂 Red Bull started wearing off…

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